The Last Night
by MementoxMori
Summary: Set in the hours after the Citadel attack, Jezika Shepard can't help but wonder: Is anything she does for Kaidan good enough, will he ever trust her?  Chapter 1 done


Patience was not a virtue Jezika had, not even in a single bone in her body. And what little patience she _did_ have was wearing thin as she waited for Chakwas to return with the medicine. Turns out, when she jumped the elevator, she cracked her left shoulder upon catching herself. The Cerberus attack on the Citadel came out of nowhere.

At least for most people, of course Jezika knew Udina was a piece of shit way before this incident.

She also had no regrets about putting a bullet through his chest.

That whole situation was fucked up, even for her. Watching Kaidan draw a gun on her and threaten to shoot her. That wasn't an image that she would soon forget. After everything she did for him and the trust she thought they were building.

On the outside, everything was fine. She let him back on the ship, mostly because she needed another able bodied soldier. But other than that, Jezika didn't know if she could ever forgive him. After all the explanations as to why she was working with Cerberus, or rather why she _wasn't_ working for them. After Horizon, after their conversation at the hospital, even the confessions they both made.

Jezika shook her head and sighed. Fighting back the tears was harder than she thought it would be. In her heart, she still loved Kaidan more than anything, but she doubted that he could ever get past the wall of hatred enough to trust her. And that broke her heart more than the gun aimed at her head.

Chakwas returned and began speaking, but Jezika couldn't really hear her. It had only been a couple of hours since they cleared the Citadel of Cerberus troops, so it was still a fairly fresh wound in her mind.

"Commander? _Commander?_ Are you okay?" Chakwas' voice finally broke through and Jezika blinked and looked up.

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear me?"

"No, I'm sorry. What did you say?" Her fiery hair was still plastered to her face with blood and sweat, and the braid was only partially in tact.

"I'm going to have to pop your shoulder back in. It's not broken or cracked, it's dislocated. I'm surprised you could hold your gun at all."

"Adrenaline." That was all she said, "Do what you have to, doctor." Numbness washed over her body as she braced herself for the pain that would follow. Breaking bones had nothing on re-inserting a dislocated joint. She could feel the bruises under her skin, and within the next twenty-four hours they would blot her skin like a Dalmatian.

"Bite down on this." Chakwas offered her a tongue depressor and Jezika shook her head. She didn't need it. Besides, her jaw hurt too much from the hilt-smacks the Phantoms were issuing. "Okay… Well, prepare yourself."

A couple of deep breaths, and Jezika closed her eyes. She mentally started to count, but before she got to _three_, Chakwas jerked her arm so hard that she almost fell off of the examining table. The pain was so sharp and intense that the cry of pain turned into a scream before it left her lips.

Joker's voice hit the speakers before Jezika could recuperate. "Is everything okay down there?"

"Yes, Jeff. Everything is fine. I'm not sure how you heard that all the way up there, but yes." Chakwas responded and began bandaging up Jezika's shoulder.

"EDI told me. We got worried up here for a sec."

"Everything is okay, Joker. Don't worry." Jezika managed to say quietly. The tears were rolling down her face steadily and she took a shaky breath. One would think that as much as she's been through, things wouldn't hurt so much.

However, she was only human. Right?

"If you say so, Commander." Jezika could all but hear the sigh in his voice. Joker had been with her through everything. He was one of the only ones she could talk to when things got rough. Of course, as of late, Cortez was added to that list. They were more than anyone could ever ask for in terms of best friends. They listened, gave their input, but they never once judged her for anything.

Her constant rocks when she needed them.

Now may be one of those times where she needs someone.

After handing her some pain meds and telling her she needs to rest the arm for a couple days, Chakwas sent Jezika on her way.

Bits of her armor hung off of her body as she made her way up to her cabin to get into some comfortable clothes. It had been a long day, and she knew that even with pills, she wouldn't be able to sleep.

Tossing the armor onto the floor next to her closet, she grabbed a pair of pajama pants and a tank-top. Carefully, she made her way to the bathroom to clean up. It took her longer to get there than she had thought, and by the time she did the fatigue was beginning to show on her features.

Looking to her reflection, she could see the welts and bruises become visible. Her right eye was swollen, and she had fractured her cheekbone on that side of her face as well. There was a rather large gash across her lower lip that was still slightly bleeding. Her fierce green eyes were dull with pain that went passed the physical.

Jezika looked haunted. Worn… _Defeated_.

The tears were back, and she couldn't stop them. Her legs felt weak and she gripped the sink under her hands to keep herself from falling to the floor. There was a sharp response of pain from her left arm from the pressure.

"No." That silent word was muttered before she pushed to her feet once more. Shaking her head, she left the bathroom; Jezika didn't want to see herself anymore. It was a reminder that someone had the ability to get under her skin to such a degree where she actually doubted herself. That had never happened before, and yet, Jezika couldn't stop from feeling this way.

Stepping into some slippers, Jezika padded out of her room and carefully made it down to the shuttle bay. If she knew Cortez well enough, he'd be down there. They were a lot alike, when the stress was laid on thick, they rarely slept.

It was eerily quiet as the elevator whooshed open and she stepped out. Jezika could feel the coldness radiate to her feet even through the slippers. It was oddly refreshing as she made her way through the steel maze to the shuttle room.

Jezika didn't make it a habit to be seen in her pajamas very often, usually only when someone came barging into her room at all hours of the night because of some emergency. That was the reason she wore pajama pants now. But, it was late enough and she didn't care enough to change. She felt like shit and she looked even worse, Jezika didn't think anyone would care about what she was wearing at the moment.

And if they did, she'd likely tell them to go to hell. That was the kind of mood she was in right then.

Letting her eyes adjust to the dimness of the room, Jezika scanned the area. "Cortez?" she called out softly as she stepped further inside. But her words were cut off by the sound of a blowtorch flaring to life.

At least her assumption was right.

Rounding the console, Jezika peered around the corner to see Cortez trying to repair the shuttle. "Don't you ever sleep?" She joked weakly and fully came around so she wouldn't scare him.

Cortez barely flinched as he stood up and looked at Jezika after extinguishing the flame and flipping the mask. "I could say the same to you, Commander."

Jezika shook her head, "No '_Commander_' tonight, Steve." She placed her back against one of the steel support beams and slid down to the floor with a wince of pain that flashed across her features.

"Alright, Zika, what's on your mind?" Cortez set his equipment down. He knew that he was one of the few that could call Jezika that. It was reserved for people who really mattered to the Commander, and Steve found himself privileged to be counted as one of them. He never expected to spark a friendship with Shepard, let alone one as close as they had. She helped him through a lot, and was always there when he was missing Robert. He knew that she would always be there to listen to him, and it seemed the time has come where he could finally return the courtesy that he had been given.

Chuckling softly, Jezika shook her head before reaching up. She pulled the hair-tie from around her wrist and gathered her scarlet waves from around her face and tried to pull her hair back, but she winced and dropped her arm. A deep sigh and she shook her head. Before she even got a word out, she began to sob. It was a helpless sound as her body was racked from the tears. Slumping forward, she hid her face in her one good hand.

A worried look crossed Cortez's face as he hurried over to Jezika's side. "Shh…shh, Zika. It'll be okay." He didn't know what was wrong and he sure as hell had never seen her this way before. Lowering himself to the floor, he gathered her in his arms and cradled the smaller woman against his chest. His hand smoothed over her head as he tried to settle her down.

"I don't know what else I can do. I don't… I just… I did everything I thought I had to do…" Babbled words flowed from her lips as Jezika's voice caught in the sobs and she just cried harder. Clinging to the front of Cortez's shirt, she didn't know what she would do if he let her go.

"You're doing everything you can do, love. I don't understand… what's wrong?" Of course, he was somewhat in the dark as to what happened earlier in the night. "What happened?" All he was told was that Udina was a traitor and had almost killed everyone. Other than that, no one really divulged what happened. Vega and Garrus were mum on it, and he felt it would be rude if he outright asked. But now, now he felt like he needed to know.

"I just don't know how much more I have to prove to him…"

Ah, it was beginning to make sense. How could he not have seen it sooner? Cortez knew all about Kaidan from Jezika, and it was well known that he had little love for the man, especially after hearing everything he had put Jezika through. "Zika, what did he do?" He gently cradled her face between his hands and lilted her head back in order for him to be able to see her face.

"He…he…" the tears started up again, worse than before and Cortez carefully brushed her cheeks with his thumbs, "he _blamed_ me… Blamed me for the attack on the Citadel because Udina had told him I was with Cerberus." Jezika spoke very softly, and her voice trembled terribly as she squeezed her eyes shut. Another wave of sobs was building up as Jezika took a deep breath. "He held a gun to my face and all but threatened to shoot me if I didn't back down."

There was a look of pain on Jezika's face that even after losing his own husband, he couldn't fathom the level of pain she was facing right now. Like her whole world was shattering all around her.

"It took Udina almost shooting the Asari councilor to get him to back off enough so I could kill Udina." The sobs had ebbed enough so that she was beginning to calm. But, she still held onto Cortez like her life depended on it. And maybe to her, it did.

Cortez just listened to her; he let her get what she had to say off her chest. Though, he maneuvered them so that it was his back against the pillar and her body rested against his chest. "And then he had the audacity to come to me before I left the Normandy and acted like the whole reason he did it was because he didn't trust me." The tears were still flowing, but at least she could speak and at least the shaking had stopped.

A deep sigh rose and fell her shoulders as she finally just laid her head against Cortez's chest. She had never let anyone see her break down like she just did. It wasn't just the scene at the Citadel; it was a long time coming. Ever since Horizon, when Kaidan all but tore her heart from her chest. To make matters worse, he wrote her an email later on which was his way of dancing on her heart that he had previously ripped out.

Still soothing his hand over her hair, Cortez leaned his head back. He actually had tears in his eyes, but he knew that he had to stay strong for her, and he knew that she needed someone that wouldn't fall to pieces with her. Or rather, fall into a rage. Cortez never really liked Kaidan before, even before what he'd been told. But now, he really didn't like him.

"Thank you, Steve."

"For what, Zika?"

"Being here. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"There's no place I would rather be. Besides, you were there for me. It's what friends do."

Jezika actually smiled, but it soon faltered as she thought about something. "I don't want to be alone…" Her brows furrowed and she looked up at him.

He smiled down to her, "I'll stay with you. Come on, let's get off the floor." He helped her up and they carefully went out of the landing and toward the elevator. He couldn't have her in the crew quarters, because that's where everyone slept, so they decided that he could stay upstairs with her.

"I've never stayed in the Penthouse Suite before." He joked with her and it actually got a genuine laugh from Jezika.

"Trust me; it's not all what it cracks up to be. Not enough hot water and the bed is hard as hell."

"Please, it can't be any worse than sleeping in a room full of guys who snore all night long."

"Touché."

Even though she was feeling a little better, it didn't mean everything was okay.

If it were anyone else but Jezika, Cortez would feel a little weird about this. But she was his best friend, and she needed him. Who was he to say no? Besides, they were friends. Pausing at the side of the bed, he slipped his boots off and got comfortable. Sliding into bed beside him, Jezika put her arms around him like a teddy bear and snuggled against his side. She wouldn't have asked him if she wasn't feeling the way she did. And she knew that it wasn't the smartest move, because people would talk.

But, anyone who knew Cortez would know that he wasn't interested in her like they would gossip about. They could cross that bridge when they got to it, but for now, he needed to be there for his friend, and that was exactly what he planned to do.

Sleep had come slowly for Jezika, but Cortez had been awake. There were thoughts in his head, and none of them good. It got to the point where he was so agitated that he couldn't sit still anymore. So, carefully, he slid out from under Jezika's arm and slipped his boots back on. He would come back, but he needed a cup of coffee or something to calm his emotions.

Silently, he slipped out of her room and not even as her door closed, the elevator opened and Kaidan walked out. It was like a flash of red engulfed Cortez's vision as he looked at the Major. Of course, he knew he couldn't say anything because Alenko outranked him. But that didn't stop him from glaring at him.

Though, the look that flashed across Kaidan's face fueled the already sparked anger growing in the shuttle pilot. "What are you doing up here, Cortez?" A mix of curiosity and accusation mingled in Kaidan's words.

"I'm being a friend, Major. Something you know nothing of." The words slipped out before he could stop them, and Cortez just shook his head. "She's asleep, leave her alone."

"I'm sure you are."

"Look, if you want to talk about this, let's go down to the kitchen. If you wake her up over your insane machismo…" He cut off his words because threatening a higher ranking officer might not end so well. So, he just shook his head and brushed past Kaidan and slapped his hand on the button before he felt a firm grip on his arm.

"What were you saying?"

Cortez shook his head and ripped his arm out of the grasp. "Just leave her the hell alone. You don't deserve her."

"How do y—" Kaidan began to ask when the elevator shut in his face. It took him a moment to decide what he was going to do before he turned heel and waited for the elevator, his own anger building slightly the more he thought about it.

Kaidan disgusted Cortez, and honestly, if Jezika forgave him for this? Of course he would accept it, but he would highly advise her not to. However, he would still be there for her, no matter what.


End file.
